Chainsaw-Wielding Maniac Seeks Person of Similar Interests

October is already half way over, Halloween is steadily approaching, and yet I have not had anybody to watch a horror movie with lately. This is particularly perplexing because I love the horror genre. I’m a dedicated fan which basically means I have a ton of patience to sit through a genre strongly composed of trash in order to find the good ones.

I am fortunate, as are all horror fans, to have Netflix instant queue in my life which is crammed with enough scary movie titles to keep me up late and watching forever. I abuse this privilege multiple nights a week, toughing it through the cheesiest of plotlines sometimes in the name of fandom. (My most recent flick that I enjoyed was Ti West’s The Innkeepers, an eerie ghost story set in a closing hotel.)

But unfortunately I find myself watching my beloved genre alone the majority of the time. Gone are the days of going to Blockbuster with my brother and cousins to take a chance on a bevy of scary movies, load up on candy and soda, head home to cut out the lights, and connect with them in shared fear or snotty comments over the bad acting or lame special effects.

Nowadays, I can rarely find someone to accompany me to the newest horror flick in movie theatres. And with Halloween approaching and a movie theatre full of decent looking horror flicks (Sinister, House at the End of the Street, the upcoming Paranormal Activity installment) I find myself in desperate need of some companions.

This desire inspired me to send out this tweet: “I need friends who love horror movies and will go see them with me, no matter how crappy they may be. SINISTER being an example.” My hopes were met and I found a couple people to catch that movie with tomorrow night. But still, I wonder why it has been so difficult to find fellow horror lovers in my community of friends.

I frequent horror sites, I belong to internet discussion groups, I sometimes go to the conventions, I’ve interviewed horror filmmakers for my blog, hell I’ve even worked on horror movie sets alongside the likes of Doug Bradley aka Pinhead from Hellraiser; and yet I still have trouble finding someone to watch a scary movie with.

Consider this an open letter to anyone who doesn’t pass over the horror genre as unoriginal or hold contempt for a bad flick every now and then. This is a classified ad for anyone who has seen every installment in the Halloween franchise and knows Rob Zombie’s reboots were plainly bad.

If you like gore, mutilations, cuss words, things that go bump in the night, people in masks, ghosts, demons, witches, shaky cam found footage, chainsaws, killer klowns from outer space, and the occasional naked lady then I’d like to talk with you. Let’s watch a movie together.

“BE MY FRIEND!”