Being a Werido Has Its Perks

I like to think that I’m a pretty abnormal person. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m real weird and can sometimes be sort of creepy. Sometimes I feel bad about making people feel uncomfortable with my eccentricities but like Bob Dylan says, “all I can do is be me, whoever that is.” So although I’m apologetic for making people feel awkward at times, I refuse to stop doing so.

I don’t try to stifle myself because I genuinely think I’m interesting and a fun person to be around. I try to keep things lively and original and if nobody else can appreciate that, I do. My wacky antics have livened up many boring days and nights. People should be shaking my hand for taking an interest in ensuring that life isn’t mundane.

Today was a shining example of how a little bit of effort goes a long way. I woke up after only a couple hours of sleep to get to a meeting at work at the ungodly hour of 8:00 am. It was a safety and security seminar that is held annually for everyone on staff at the movie theatre I manage. I’ve been to at least a half dozen of these meetings over my years in the company. One thing stays the same: they’re long and boring. Not if I have anything to do with it.

I ran the majority of the seminar which is basically supposed to be me reading off a bunch of PowerPoint slides to an auditorium full of barely-listening crew members. An hour of someone rattling off the same information yearly about how to pick up boxes safely, what to do in case of emergencies, and evacuation plans is awful and tedious. So I did my best to spice it up with commentary in between reading bulleted points.

I continually mentioned tips I learned from my “sensei” and referred back to my “dojo” regularly. I often tell my crew that I’m a major kung fu enthusiast and sometimes even add my varying degrees of black belts as proof of my Caine-like quest for knowledge. And even though I sometimes do a floor routine of martial arts moves on the job, I’ve never actually taken one day of karate training.

When we got to the sensitive issue of what to do if a gunman starts targeting random people, I naturally pointed my finger like a gun to the crew members and asked what they would do next. Depending on their answer I told them whether they were dead or alive.

All of this is a little odd and maybe not the most professional thing in the world. But by the end of that hour long meeting, my staff was wide awake and fully paying attention to the bulleted facts I mentioned in between my personal craziness. The mission was a complete success. They were informed and entertained. And for that matter, so was I. One of the positive things about being a fan of my own personality is that I am entertained by my own antics. My sensei would be proud. My dojo should be honored to have me.


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